My daughter blithely handed this to me today. Usually, we get these little notes home for everything shy of a cold. There’s been a confirmed case of step/swine flu/chicken pox/stomach flu. Lots of bullshit that I’m not really worried about because of modern medicine and my kids’ lethally efficient immune system. This one gave me pause, though.

January 5, 2011

Dear Crosby Parents,

We are writing to inform you that we have had a confirmed case of MRSA at Crosby Elementary School. as soon as we were notified of this, students were removed from hte affected area. The affected area has been disinfected as recommended by the County Health Department. [Assholes, we got here because of your hyper-disinfecting of everything.] As of this writing, no student has been infected with MRSA [So who had the confirmed case?]

As you are aware, MRSA is a type of staph bacteria that is resistant to certain antibiotics called beta-lactams. In the community, most MRSA infection are skin infections that may appear as pustules or boils which often are red, swollen, painful or have pus or other drainage. They often first look like spider bites or bumps that are red, swollen, and painful. These skin infections commonly occur at sites of visible skin trauma, such as cuts and abraisions, and areas of the body covered by hair.

The key to preventing MRSA infections is for everyone to practice good hygiene [You're full of shit.]

• Keep your hands clean by washing thoroughly with soap and water or usung an alcohol-based hand rub.
• Keep cuts and scrapes clean and covered with a bandage until healed.
• Avoid contact with other people’s wounds or bandages.
• Avoid sharing personal items such as towels of razors.

Your student’s health and safety is our first concern [Really, cause the school lunch menu convinced me it wasn't.]. Please call either of us if you have any question or concerns.

Thank you! [No, thank YOU modern school system.]

There’s a super bug wandering around the halls of my kids school. These fuck wads seem to think that disinfecting one, single area that is inhabited by 30+ little plague rats on a daily basis is going to contain the risk of contamination. And, on top of it, they want us to use MORE antibacterial garbage – the exact same non-sense that got us super bugs in the first place.

And we wonder why our children are failing academically. The people who are teaching them are complete and total morons.